Monday, May 16, 2011

An Awakening

Last summer, I read a book called Gospel Powered Parenting. It was an impulse purchase, added to my Amazon cart to make the $25 free-shipping mark. I mentioned it last year on here because it was rocking my all too complacent world.

That was just the first voice in a series calling me to a gospel-centered life.

Gradually, I'm beginning to understand how good the Good News really is.

All my life I've been a part of the church. I knew that I needed to believe in God and accept Jesus' sacrifice for me, and I did. I loved God. He was a really awesome Dad who provided for me and worked all things for my good.

I would never have said it out loud, because in my head I knew it wasn't supposed to be true, but I lived on the assumption that I didn't sin, therefore I wasn't a sinner. The problem is a non-sinner doesn't need a savior.

Then, I read a book called Spiritual Depression: It's Causes and It's Cures. (I highly recommend it, with the caveat that it isn't beach reading.) I see myself in every chapter, but the key insight I've found in that book is the idea that sin is not so much the actions as it is rejecting God.


I began to see my ignoring the Holy Spirits nudges as sin. When He was calling me to get off the computer and into His word. When He prompted me to forgive rather than hold on to bitterness against Brad when I knew I was "right." When He showed me that I was being harsh with my children. Quick rabbit trail: one of the most convicting things I've ever read was this quote from Amy Carmichael, "If a sudden jar can cause me to speak an impatient, unloving word then I know nothing of Calvary love. For a cupful of sweet water cannot spill even one drop of bitter water, however suddenly jolted."

And those were just a few things that happened over and over. Countless times throughout my day I ignore the Holy Spirit and do what feels good to my pride.

Oh, Lord. I am a sinner!

It wasn't until I understood (finally!) my need for a Savior that I really understood the world's need for a Savior.

At the same time that I read Spiritual Depression, I also read Radical, and I began to get excited about the kind of fruitful life I could be leading.

My first priority is the ministry I'm already leading, Mothers of Preschoolers. What an opportunity to reach out to unsaved women! We've totally missed the mark. I've totally missed the mark in my pursuit of the details of making the meetings happen. I've been praying and talking to the other women on my team since February. My prayer is that God would ignite in them the same passion. Would you join me in that prayer?

How is your life different from the world around you because of the gospel?

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