Friday, April 10, 2009

Random thoughts

We've been pretty busy this past week with my mother in-law here for a visit. Sorry for the delay in posting. Since these thoughts have nothing to do with each other, I'm going to resort to a list.

1. I got a phone call yesterday in response to my email and Nick is going to be evaluated for speech delays. I'm praying that the visit will set my mind at ease. And by set my mind at ease I mean that they'll say he does need help and that they'll help him. I think I'm most afraid that they'll say I'm overreacting. I don't think I am, though. I just think he needs a little help. The evaluation is next Thursday here at home.

2. After my big story about God's faithfulness in bringing us to Alaska, I feel like I'm on a ping pong table. I'm doing the Beth Moore Esther study at church and every week I keep going back and forth. "Why did God bring me here and not there? What should I be doing? What is my destiny?" and "Don't be afraid. You can't make your own destiny. God will show it to you in His time. It might be a really long time." Both thoughts echo through my head in my spare moments.

3. I also keep thinking about a sermon that I heard on the radio a few weeks ago. It reminded me of a sermon I heard in college about how the Trinity is an unending dance of love. Everything that God does is motivated by love, love for us certainly, but more importantly love for the Son and the Spirit. So, this sermon that I heard on the radio was a completely different perspective on the cross than I've ever heard. Church people tend to say things like "Christ would have died for me even if I were the only person on Earth" and I was always a little uncomfortable with that. Not because it isn't true, but because it sounds so self-serving. The pastor on the radio said that the cross was just part of a larger show of love. The world was created through Christ, Christ gave himself up for the world, and he is keeping the world so that (and this is the part that really has me thinking) he can present it to the Father as a gift of love on the judgement day. Yes, Christ died because he loves us. Yes, God's judgement needed to be satisfied. But, the reason behind it is love, love that goes beyond God's love for us. Because that's who God is. This is probably making as much sense to you as it did to Brad when I tried to explain it to him. If you've read The Shack, you might understand a little more what I'm talking about regarding God's love for the Son and Spirit and their love for Him. The Trinity is never going to be totally understandable on this earth, but it is humbling to catch a glimpse of His amazing love. It's more than me, and that's all I need to know.

1 comment:

Angela said...

With the exception of Nick, I am feeling those very same feelings. I am currently reading the Shack, and have sat and tried to explain it to Erin. I run those same questions through my head. "Why am I here now?" I am also getting ready to start Beth Moore's study Esther. I just finished Daniel and my head is spinning. I will be praying for the evaluation with Nick. I miss you and wish you were closer so we could go release some stress together.